The 2 Most Important Items To Have In Your Closet Are…

The 2 Most Important Items To Have In Your Closet Are…

Hint…they are not articles of clothing.

In fact you can’t even wear these items. But I promise you they are essential.

Item #1  – PAPER.


I know, super exciting, right?? Okay, on its own it’s not much. But, add in most important item number 2, and you’re off to great things.

Item #2 – A pen.


Or a pencil, or a crayon, or whatever you can write with – eyeliner works in a pinch but I don’t recommend it.

Why are these 2 things so important?

Besides the fact that you need both – I don’t want you writing on your walls so paper is important, and it’s of no use to use without a writing tool – together, these two items will create….


I know, you are probably thinking, “What is she talking about??? I can’t wear a “list”, and, the last thing I need is more stuff crammed into my closet, but hear me out.

What do you do when you are in your kitchen and you realize you are out of something? Maybe you have pasta but no sauce, dip but no chips, etc. Maybe you have eggs but they are expired. Typically you write it down, or, for the tech savvy, you type it onto a list on your phone. Your closet is similar to your pantry, or at least it should be. There are basics like bread, milk, and butter (white t-shirts, jeans and, hopefully, underwear).  And then there are the extras, like a pair of red high heels, which become the fresh ground cayenne pepper we can use to spice up our wardrobe (corny pun totally intended).

How many times have you gone to the grocery store and forgotten your list? Isn’t it the most annoying feeling ever? You walk up and down the isles trying to be reminded of what you need. Instead you end up throwing random items in the cart and leaving without what you truly came to purchase.

SO glad other people do this! Countless times I have gone to the store pulled out my coupons and realized I left my list at home! ARGH

There is not much difference with your wardrobe shopping list. Going into a store unarmed, without any kind of list, is dangerous. More than likely you will spend too much time, and worse, too much money, buying something that you don’t really need, or doesn’t have anything to go with it once it joins its other clothing friends in your closet.  Human nature and instinct take over when we go into a store. Remember, with regards to food, we started out as hunters and gatherers. Clothing is no different in that we hunt (shop) and gather (buy) it. The problem arises when we shop for the wrong clothes, or we buy something we don’t actually need. Let’s say Fred the caveman hunted bison, while his wife Frida gathered poison ivy. They bring it back to the cave but their daughter Finley says she hates bison, (she’s debating on going vegetarian, typical teenager), and, Fred Jr. can’t use the poison ivy leaves as toilet paper because, well, I think that one is fairly obvious.  Now Fred and Frida are tired, hungry, annoyed, AND they don’t have any toilet paper (i.e. leaves).

The point is that we feel the need to buy something, even if it is not the right thing, just to feel like it was worth our trip and our time. But this can lead to poor choices, like coming home from the Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale with a cute yellow dress that you got for a total steal. You think it will be the perfect dress to wear on a lovely Spring day, you can even picture yourself strolling through a park, or the farmers market, wearing this exact dress. You go home and put the dress in your closet. And there it sits, staring right back at you, two years later, tags still attached. The reality is that you don’t really look that good in yellow, and the dress is a bit tight. And that walk in the park you pictured never happened, and your farmers market trips were done in sneakers and stretch pants, just like Jennifer Garner who always keeps it real when she is out and about. Love her! That dress purchase may have felt right in that moment, but it ends up being so wrong for you, your body, and your lifestyle.

This is not real life.

It’s time to shop smarter. It’s time to save money. Keeping a notebook or notepad right inside your closet, along with a pen, ensures that when you discover you are about to run out of something, or, you are missing something to complete an outfit, you can write it down immediately, and remember it. This list needs to be kept in your closet as opposed to somewhere else, because in your closet is where you’ll be when you realize you need something. Once we walk away from that closet we barely can remember what we own. Have you ever gone into J.Crew and saw they have t-shirts on sale and they have every color under the rainbow? We have no idea what one we NEED, only which color we WANT.  Only when you are standing in front of your closet will you be aware of what you are missing to complete potential outfits sitting right inside your own closet.  When you go to toss your basic black cardigan into the donate bin (which I also suggest you keep right in your closet), you can quickly jot down that you need a new black cardigan. When you put on that beautiful printed skirt you bought at Anthropologie, but take it off yet again, because, you have no idea what will match with it, then write that down! Maintaining a  list will help to keep your shopping focused and efficient. Much like compiling a shopping list for a specific recipe, you can compile a list for an item or even a type of outfit you think is missing from your wardrobe. This way, when you open that flash sale email, you can check your Need list and be prepared. No more buying stuff just to buy, needlessly adding more stuff to what could be an already crowded wardrobe.


Sign up HERE to get my monthly newsletter focused directly on what to buy, where to buy it, AND how to wear it. I will still continue to blog post but this newsletter will allow be to deliver specific tips on style directly to your inbox.

*Insider Tip – Take a picture, it’ll last longer. 

Afraid of being out and about and forgetting to bring your list? There is no need for that list to ever leave your closet. Every so often just take a picture on your phone of the list, then create an album under your Photos app and call it Shopping. This way, no  matter where you are, you will know what you need. All you have to do is look at your list, and you can take advantage of buying something that fulfills a specific need, or want, in your wardrobe.  Bonus points for taking a picture of that hard to match item, giving you a visual to reference if you are out. Show your picture to the sales staff for suggestions on how to complete the outfit.  You can also take photos of your clothes as they are hanging in your closet and post those photos to the same Album. Now you will have a visual reference reminder of what is hanging in your closet. Even if you can’t see each and every item, it is still more helpful than drawing a blank on what you have and what you need. Say goodbye to impulse shopping and hello to taking control of your closet.

Blazers are essential to this client’s wardrobe. After editing and organizing she now knows that she is good on white blazers. And, if by chance she does fall in love with one, I always recommend the one-in-one-out rule, this way things stay neat and tidy.

Compiled a list but not sure where to shop for new items? Don’t have the time, or the patience? I’m here to help! Choose any or all of the services below…

  • Audit your closet – take stock of inventory and see what is in there and what you need – together we will start your list.
  • I’ll go to the stores and pick out the clothing on your list and deliver it right to you.
  • Prefer to shop online? I’ll send over an interactive shopping list customized to your needs and you can click and shop at your convenience.
  • Click here to Contact me via email

Thanks for reading!


ATHLETA Camo Top 3 Ways

ATHLETA Camp Top 3 Ways

Please join me tomorrow when I host an invite only Shop and Style Event at Athleta in the Glen Eagle Shopping Center in Glen Mills, PA.

I’ll be there to help you mix and match your favorite Athleta pieces back into your wardrobe for maximum versatility!

To get your exclusive Friends and Family 25% sale code you have to RSVP by clicking here:


Hope to see you there!





Bows, Bridal, Bling and the Bold – The Oscars Red Carpet Review 2018

Bows, Bridal, Bling and the Bold – The Oscars Red Carpet Review 2018

Ladies and Gents we may have to change the red carpet to black…because it’s dead.

The red carpet has we once knew it has forever changed. It was flat-out painful watching the E Network as you could literally see the stars dancing past Ryan. The rest of the crew tried to fill in with painfully awkward conversation but it was indeed painful and awkward. Oh Joan…how we miss you so.

ABC, which has the exclusive pre-show red carpet rights, wasn’t really much better. Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino looked like they were on a manhunt and not in a romantic type of way, still they were interviewed no less than 300 times. Add in about 5 other celebrities and that was about it even for Michael Strahan. My personal opinion is that this wasn’t some kind of backlash to these particular interviews (although maybe in Ryan’s case, even though the thought of him being sexual in general is just kinda funny), but rather a back away movement as the celebrities and their publicists are now terrified of saying anything at all. If you just talk about your dress and your hair and jewelry than you are deemed shallow and insensitive and assumed to have slept with Harvey Weinstein. If you talk about the women’s movement you are bound to say something that can misconstrued by someone, somewhere. If you talk too much about the movie and your “craft” it’s just boring for everyone. So what’s a star to do? Stand still and look pretty for some pictures or just avoid the whole thing and run in at 5 minutes till showtime through some backdoor.

But, alas, the show must go on, and so will my annual red carpet review. Usually I like to give credit to the designer of this dresses but it was so difficult this year to find out who made the dresses since the women were zip lipped about their look. Let’s just saw that there was some definite themes going on – some good and some bad.

I like big bows and I cannot lie…

Hip bows, back bows, fluffy bows, all kinds of bows. I’m thinking this would make a good Dr. Seuss book.


There are two things to be observed about this trend. The first is big bows can only be worn by very tiny people, and I am talking about a size -1, if that even is such a thing. So big bows need a little body.  The second is never ever go up against Nicole Kidman in fashion. She will slay it every single time.

Here comes the bride…

White was out in full force last night, and no I am not referring to race. This is a color that is bright, light and evokes hope. I like it. I just think it is dangerously close to looking like a wedding gown.


I think three of these ladies pulled this off really well. To think they didn’t even spill anything on themselves or get grease from the limo on their train is a feat unto itself. I’d be covered in makeup marks and probably a piece of chocolate from the protein bar I know I’d be chowing on in my limo on the way. But one of these ladies took it too far. Matthew McConaughey’s lovely wife Camila Alves  definitely looked as if her plan was to liquor up her hot hubby and renew their vows after midnight. Just too much dress, too much tulle and too much white. (Although if you saw how much Timothée Chalamet fawned over Matthew then it may look like Camila may have to fight him for that vow.) Switch this color out for black and you have a whole different look with a lot of drama.

Bling it on…

Metallics melt my heart. Anything shiny with sparkles and I am on board. Shiny sequins and beads scream star and it takes some serious star power to hold up these often heavy dresses, both physically and mentally. You cannot be timid in a head to toe metallic dress. You have to own it and work it and believe it.


This is hard as I think all of these ladies looked fab. J. Law is so good in her golden gown that this is nearly a tie. I think I have to go with Gal Gadot because of THAT FRINGE! Plus that is not an easy kind of look to accessorize but I think that necklace is perfection. And you all know how much I dislike the sternum low front cuts but this is done correctly on her because it’s not too too low and she’s not totally flat and she’s not making us stare at her boobs being stuck together. And although many ladies went with their hair down and loose, I like Gal’s elegant updo with her classic red lip.

The bold and the beautiful…

In truth color can be hard when worn formally. It rides a fine line between going straight to bridesmaid land. Case in point. IMG_3085

If you go with a bold color choice it’s got to have some very creative lines to look sophisticated. This avoids that process where the bride picks one color and then you all pick the cut that “flatters you best.” Even though this is her first go at the Oscars Allison Janney showed us how to do it right. She looked like a winner and she was a winner. Those sleeves would never ever be on a bridesmaid dress because you know you would get drunk and trip on them.


And I am obsessed with how fabulous her Vanity Fair after party look is…did you know the majority of celebrities need not one but two dresses for this big night? The bigger questions is when and where do they get changed?


Now to what is  probably my favorite look of the night. It helps that she is so gosh darn likable, even with being a good, wholesome type of mom. In fact the only people who don’t seem to like her are Ben Affleck and his girlfriend Lindsay Shookus, and I am sure secretly even Lindsay wants to stay home and have cocoa and bake cookies with Jen. She’s just that great. And I absolutely love even more when she glams it up. Just gorgeous.


Sleeves can be sexy…

Worth mentioning is these unicorn dresses, because finding a dress with sleeves that doesn’t make you look like a Granny is an elusive search for me as a stylist for so many of my clients. These pros nailed it. Even Meryl, who usually relies more on her acting chops that her fashion sense, looked radiant in these gorgeous shade of red.


The key when wearing a long sleeve dress is to keep the overall silhouette sleek and sexy. Notice how with all these dresses it is about the cut of the dress. Jewelry is simple and stunning, with the focus on these gorgeous ladies. This is what chic looks like.

And then there is the not so chic…

Whoopi and Audra wore someone’s drapes. I have no idea why.


This pose didn’t help her to not be compared to an upholstered floral chaise.


I love Viola Davis – but I don’t love this look. As my friend Andrea pointed out my text last  night, she was clearly channeling a Donna Summer vibe…at least as far as her hair and earrings go. The lower half? That is clearly what Elle Woods would wear to the Oscars.


Selma – why? Why would you do this? And so much of whatever it is. The hair was not good either. She may have gotten into a fight with her hair stylist.


Oh Cookie…you are gorgeous…but  why are you showing us your own cookies?



Worth noting…


Do these two fight over the mirror at home to admire who is better looking? Or when you are that good looking do you just forgo mirrors altogether because you wake up knowing you have been genetically blessed. They should start another planet with the Crawford/Gerber clan, unless there is sometime of anti-trust laws on having a monopoly on all of the beautiful genes. Btw Cindy and her ugly clan weren’t there – but just take a minute to absorb how unfair this is.


Age is just a number…

This is Rita Moreno. She’s 86 years old. I’ll tell you again – eighty-six years old.


This is what enjoying life and giving zero effs looks like. She is in a strapless dress people! And not just any dress. She wore this exact same dress…in 1964. Rock on Rita.



*Insider Tip – W.W.J.L.D.?

When life puts you in the wrong “row” just grab a glass of wine and step over it – Jennifer Lawrence style.


There is no doubt that some actors take themselves very seriously. The Academy Awards is kind of like the peeps of Harvard throw a wine tasting party and really you’d rather being at a state college kegger. I love that Jennifer Lawrence, gown and all, is always relatable and real. She was one of the few people last night that looked like they were actually having fun. Granted she wasn’t up for any kind of award so it is a little bit easier to let loose. But in general I think we can all take a page out of her book and remember to not take life too seriously. It’s simply much more fun that way.


Thanks for reading – and please let me know…do you agree? Disagree? Who do you think looked good and who did not?













Bathing Suit Blues

Bathing Suit Blues

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February is gray, really, really gray. It’s a sad gray, it’s bleak.  It’s not warm enough to feel like Spring, but we probably aren’t getting any pretty winter snow. It’s damp and it’s damn depressing. This is what I call the February Funk. It happens every year and it’s that total tweener time where we are stuck between the seasons. February is not fun and nothing really goes on. Sure there is Valentines Day – you know that holiday that is set up for husbands to fail, to the singles to feel worse, or just to eat candy and chocolate and gain weight while you wait for Spring Break. Ahhhh…..Spring Break….if you are lucky enough to get out of dodge, and into some warmth and sunshine, then you can cling to that little light at the end of the tunnel known as vacation. This is a lovely thought that gets ruined by the reminder that I will need to stretch skin tight spandex over my body and expose my pasty white smoosh body.

Everything about buying a swim suit is a set up for failure. For starters we usually are shopping for one when our bodies haven’t seen the sun and a proper wax treatment for several months. Then there is that ick factor that someone else has already slapped this saran wrap over their own body, thoughtfully recognized by the sanitary hygienic panty liner sticky strip that is still half adhering to the crotch. While I am super grateful that they include this liner so that my crotch doesn’t touch a stranger’s crotch, there is no getting around how awkward it is to try on a swim suit over your undies. Whether you are full on in granny pannies or going minimum with a thong, there is no way to get a true view of what this will look like in real life. Case in point – this bikini bottom clearly is getting a little too close to showing me this model’s birth canal.


So then you reach the moral dilemma, do you pull back your underwear underneath the suit so you can see what it looks like without said extra material, risking the exposure that someone else has done exactly what you are about to do and let their lady bits be exposed in an effort to see what your suit will look like panty free? Or do you helplessly stare in the mirror and just imagine you aren’t wearing a bikini under a bikini? Either solution frightens me for multiple reasons but ultimately the fact is that I am paying for something to be worn in public that will cover less acreage than my usual underwear. God knows I don’t walk around in my underwear, yet, if you put me near any form of water, this is suddenly totally normal to have my ass cheeks exposed to friends and neighbors at the pool and beach. Yick.


Now we get to move up the body to the belly region – good times. Either you expose what your child did to your body or you find something like the Miraclesuit brand one piece in hopes that in can perform a miracle on your midsection. They will use a generous about of shirred fabric, bright colors and clever cuts to create an optical illusion of a svelte bod, just short of looking like your Grandma’s suit that has that flowy top that floats underwater.



But one pieces can get hot and are not fun to peel off and back up again when you have to have use the ladies room. Two piece suits are essentially made up of less fabric than my bra and underwear. There is no winner here. You just choose the lesser of two evils. Unless, you are one of those moms who gets her butt to the gym, eats right and takes care of herself. Then by all means show off those abs. I’ll be sitting under the umbrella eating crap and feeling jealous, knowing that I am too lazy to change my ways.


Continuing the evaluation under the fluorescent buzzing lights in the store we work our way up to the girls, aka your boobs. Either you got ’em or your don’t. And if you have ’em and they are real they are probably in the process of working their way down toward your toes, making you feel like one of those topless tribal women you would see in the National Geographic magazines as a kid.  They had better things to worry about,  like food, and not getting eaten by a lion, so they layered on some necklaces and figured ‘eff it, I’m not bothering to find something with metal in it to hold these hush puppies up. We, on the other hand, don’t live in the South of France, or in a tribe, so it becomes necessary to find some sort of support system that lifts, separates and doesn’t make it look like you have a baby’s butt worth of cleavage on your chest. Good luck with that.


Then, if your children literally sucked your boobs dry, you are left with the task of finding something with chicken cutlets stuffed into it to bring you back to some resemblance of your former figure. Even if you avoid the overstuffed tops you still need to find some sort of padding or coverage so you can avoid having your high beams on every time a breeze blows, or you, (God-forbid), actually get into the frozen cold water and get wet. There’s nothing like seeing your kid’s soccer coach while you are dripping wet with some fabric stuck to your chest, hoping he is not trying to figure out what happened to your boobs or where they went.


And what about if you have had a little help up top,  with a quick trip to the surgeon? I think that’s great, and I would love to have someone pull things back up to where they once were. Just be prepared, even with a really great surgeon most people will know if you did or didn’t, because there is no woman over the age of 40 who has given birth that has naturally great separation and lift. You can be subtle about it when you wear clothes but when you break out the bathing suit make sure you put on your earmuffs to avoid the other mommies talking about whether you did or didn’t (Oh now we know what Shelia was really recovering from when she said she had “the flu”) and guessing when you did and by whom, and also how much it cost.  If they are really good they will probably then ask your for your doctor’s number.


Just try not to want to kick aforementioned coach when you remember that he is a man and gets to wear a bathing suit that conveniently has a mesh hammock to keep all their junk up near their trunk, while throwing on any old t-shirt to cover any dad bod they may or may not be hiding. And just think, they probably just grabbed their normal size in pants or shorts right off the rack and bought it without even trying it on, because, let’s face it, these are just shorts with quick dry fabric, no sticky weird panty liner included. I’m glad they are not wearing speedos because frankly I don’t want to se the size of everyone’s frank and beans, but man wouldn’t it be nice for them to have to suffer through being in complete display for just one day.  Totally not fair.

*Insider Tip – Celebrate the Caftan.


Listen, it’s a sad but true fact that at my age I care more about the cover-up because quite frankly I spend more time in it. I do love the water – when it’s warm, and private, and hopefully on a private beach. Public and club pools are just weird because there’s always that one floating band-aid that you know came off of someone’s open wound. Plus I pay way too damn much for my highlights to let the heavily chlorinated water wreak havoc on my hair. So I’m putting my money into the good stuff. Here’s some of my favs via this link Chic-Cover-ups. – I created a catalogue you can click and shop from in case you are into hiding out too.

Chic Cover-ups

All joking aside at the end of the day it comes down to confidence. I’ve seen all types of women in all shapes and all sizes in all kinds of suits. It’s what we doo when we are “laying out” at the beach or the pool – we people watch because it’s so damn interesting. The women that look the best are the ones who are standing up straight, they are smiling, and they are living their life totally unaffected by what me or anyone else thinks. They are bodysurfing the waves, jumping off the diving board and playing paddle board with their kids. Even if there is some kind of wardrobe malfunction they just laugh and put it all back into place, wedgie be damned. I’m working on appreciating the face that I have 2 working legs, 2 working arms, and a family that loves me no matter what. In the end nobody ever wishes they spent more time sitting and watching. That’s not living life. Being, doing, enjoying…now that’s living life.

Thanks for reading,


The Blackout on The Red Carpet

The Blackout on The Red Carpet

Want my very honest opinion on wearing black on the red carpet? You may not like it but you may read the italicized paragraphs below.  Want to skip the deep thoughts and just get to the good, the bad and the what were they thinking part? Scroll down to below the italicized font. 

In an effort to show solidarity among women, last nights female, and many male attendees chose to wear black. The color black is strong, no doubt, but it also feels serious, sometimes even sad, after all it is the color we associate with death and funerals. I am all about bringing awareness and opening up conversation to the sexual harassment scandal that has besieged Hollywood and beyond. What confuses me is that there were requests made by some women to take the focus off of fashion during the Golden Globes, an event that is typically known for what people wore as much as, sometimes even more than, whom actually won. That, in my opinion, is bullshit. 

I get that I will be of the minority and will certainly face some backlash for my opinion but nonetheless I am going there. Freedom of speech works on both sides of the fence and I’d like to say something about fashion and females. A celebrity is not created, achieved, or sustained in a vacuum, especially when it comes to women. There are agents, stylists, makeup artists, hairstylists, publicists and many others who are supporting the pyramid that builds up to a celebrity. While I appreciate that they want to use their spotlight to bring attention to a topic long kept in the dark, what I don’t appreciate is the disregard for acknowledging that they still want to look fabulous while doing so. What I am referring to, specifically, is an actress who wears a one of kind, hand beaded couture dress that is slit down to her navel and up to her thigh, skin-tight, in flawless makeup and with perfectly cascaded waves in her hair, dripping in borrowed diamonds and jewels, who then says don’t look at my body and don’t ask me about my clothes. No, you don’t get to be righteous and then shit on the fact that you are still using fashion to do so. 

Fashion is power, as is being female. Yes, we need equality in the workplace and yes we need to stand up to people who say and do inappropriate things that we allow to make us feel like less. But we also have the power, we always have. Women have the ability to seduce, to use their feminine wiles to their advantage. Have you ever flirted with a man just to get him to buy you a drink, maybe even brushed up against him or touched his arm? Nowadays he could come right back at you and call you out for inappropriate comments and touching, which, is kinda true if you had no real interest in having any further conversation or interaction with that man who just paid for your drink. Have you ever batted your eyes to get out of speeding ticket? Have you ever used your looks, or your sexuality in any way, implied or otherwise, to get your way? Your body has the power to be used for good and evil and it’s totally up to you on how you want to use it. I don’t care how it’s used as long as you are the one in control of that decision. When the control over your body is taken away by someone else? That’s where I have a problem. 

Sexual assault, crime and workplace misconduct that threatens your career, or your safety is a serious matter. But let’s sort that out from the back and forth innuendoes shared by men and women for years, both in the workplace and beyond. Banter and flirting, whether innocent or proprietary in nature, can be a one way or a two-way street. But one thing is for sure, an individual has a right on either end of the conversation to let the other end know that things have crossed a line or gone too far. Speak up and then move on. My fear is that some of the major violators of sexual harassment are being lost in the noise of a witch hunt on the entire male race. Also lost during last nights ceremony was the fact that men too have been victims of many of these horrible Hollywood monsters. Kevin Spacey hasn’t been accused of targeting women, he has been accused of targeted men, specifically some who are so young they would actually be classified as boys. Being a gay male in Hollywood is still kept a bit of a secret because it can sometimes limit an actor’s marketing ability to a female audience. How many men have remained silent in order to keep their careers, and, like I mentioned in the beginning of this post, the careers of all of the people they employ, in order to keep their celebrity status up and running?

I’ve said it so many times but it was never so true as it was last night on tv. Fashion speaks with a very loud voice. Even if you missed the awards show last night I am sure one of the first things you heard with regard to news coverage of the event wasn’t who won what category, but about how every woman wore black. Those black dresses, most of which are custom-made and designed for that particular actress, are not created out of thin air. From the garment workers in the textile factory to the administrative assistant who works for the fashion design house to the janitor that cleans the building, there is a complete industry working behind the scenes to create that statement making black dress. Many of those in that particular industry are, in fact, women themselves. I don’t think I heard Ryan Seacrest ask anyone who they were wearing last night out of fear of getting his head bitten off. Yes, let’s acknowledge the solidarity of woman. Let’s also acknowledge the men out there that are good, the ones who stand up for us, treat us like women and take care of us. Sure, we are equipped to do it ourselves but isn’t it nice to be shown some chivalry?  Let’s acknowledge the designer who worked countless hours sketching, pinning, draping and building their own personal work of art for you to wear, and don’t forget the seamstress with arthritic hands and who sewed each and every bead on your dress by hand and let the dress in and let it back out again as she adjusted for every little half a pound you gained or lost. Let’s acknowledge the stylist that brought more than 20 dresses back and forth to your home while you hemmed and hawed over which one you wanted to be given for free to wear. Let’s acknowledge that fashion is, and always has been, the strongest suit of armor we as women have to use in this epic story called life. Men can’t effect change with what they wear, not in the same way an entire room of women can. Oh and next time? How about something that celebrates women and their beautiful curves instead of sobering them? Let’s wear red and sparkles and sequins and gold. Let’s acknowledge the power of our appearance and how good it can make us feel, how a cashmere robe can envelope us in care and comfort or a couture gown can make us stand tall and feel regal and confident. But don’t, please don’t, say that what you are wearing doesn’t matter when it is literally the very fabric that wove together a diverse group of women last night. Be grateful for the power to instigate change by using your wardrobe.


Okay, back to your regularly scheduled segment of The Red Carpet Review –

In a sea of black dresses celebrities had to up their game when it came to makeup and accessories. Some of them met this challenge and knocked it out of the park. Some, chose not to wear any makeup, essentially never even showing up to play ball. To each his (or her) own. In any case when you put everyone in black there are quite a few similarities and trends that stand out.

Also, just to keep it really real, here is what I was wearing while being oh so critical of these celebrities. This is why this critique is meant for fun, and not to harm or insult. My look was minnie mouse meets the Flyers meets the back end of my  dog, so clearly I am not really in a position to judge.  Comfort is key kids!

The Dress Over Pants Look.

This one is tricky, always. Tricky because you really have to have no hips to have an exaggeration of fabric come outward at your hips without looking, well, hippy. I also personally think this look looks best on someone a bit younger and more on the petite side overall. Which one of these ladies got it right? In the last picture I love the proportion and the fabric used in this outfit as worn by Alison Brie. The clean classic stiletto finishes off the look just right.


The I Think I Want You To See My Underwear Look

While Beyonce has pulled off this look in the past, and mostly because she is Beyonce, I don’t know that I really like it. It sort of looks like a bathing suit meets coverup meets bedroom lingerie look that I’m just not following. I end up focusing on if they are wearing boy shorts or granny panties as opposed to looking at the overall dress. And while pretty much everyone can agree on the flawless, ageless perfection known as Halle Berry, I’m not sure I’m on board with this Victoria’s Secret castoff. A fitted black velvet sheath would have sealed the deal on Halle and looked much more elegant than this lace frock. And Kate, dear sweet Kate, please show us something else besides your sternum. I know it’s been hard rocking the short hair but the plunging neckline is not the right kind of distraction. I couldn’t find a pic of Ashley alone so Selma is in there looking confused by both of their outfits. As for Angelina I’m kinda wondering if I could wear that dress and use it like a sexy swiffer at the same time.



The Imma Gonna Wear The Suit Tonight Look

Some women said it was their turn to sport the tux. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. When it works it is usually because they kept something super sexy but subtle instead of going full on “I raided my sons/brothers/husbands closet.” Here’s to you Kyra Sedgwick for getting that cut on those pants so perfect and a jacket tailored in all the right spots.

Susan – this just looks sloppy and it makes me sad because you are such a knockout.


This look is so close to being fabulous but the pants are literally making me nervous that she is going to trip and the severity of the hair and makeup is too close to the Robert Palmer backup dancer video look.

claire-foyPoor Hugh Grant’s date looks like he literally told her in the car that they were going to stop by the Golden Globes while she’s all like “Wait, I thought we were just going out to Nobu for sushi!”


Is it me or is Kevin Bacon morphing into William H. Macy?


The Go Big With Tulle Or Go Home Look

Well if you have to wear black you might as well wear a lot of it. I kinda like Heidi’s dress but I kinda don’t, probably because it wants to kinda be short and it kinda wants to be long but it’s kinda not sure. IMG_2104I actually don’t mind Mariah’s dress but I am confused by the strap up top – maybe it is there to hold the big girls up and prevent a peekaboo sesh? Doesn’t she have a personal handler for those kinds of things? And how does she sit in this? Waddle like a mermaid?

IMG_2096While I’m still trying to figure out why the Kardashians are celebrities I have to give it to the one K child who has a legitimate career in modeling. Kendall wore this dress without it wearing her, not easy to do in a dress that size. The dress was so big that appears to have latched onto the ivy display in the background of this photo. I pity the assistant that had to pry it out of there without any damage.


The Let’s Mix In Some Silver Look

I love that these ladies threw in a bit of celebration. Rita Wilson has metallic fireworks sewed into her dress , while Margot rocks shoulder pads like nobody’s business, tying it all up with a fantastic bow and floral thread detail. Dove Cameron (Disney chick for those of you without tweens in your house) also went for a delicate metallic bow accent while Jessica Chastain slayed it with pops of silver beading and drop dead perfect hair, makeup and earrings.



The Unfortunate Look

Whether this was a statement against looking pretty or just an accident, these lovely ladies missed the mark. Alicia looks like she is going to a funeral on the little house on the prairie followed by an Amish wake. The severe hair, the solemn look, it all just felt very sad.

IMG_2085Amanda Peet clearly has a stylist that hates her.  Either that or she lost a bet and someone said she had to wear a 1980s maternity bridesmaid dress with one side hiked up to show off some knee action.


Diane Kruger always goes on the edge a bit but I kept stressing out last night that someone was going to step on that train, namely her date Norman Reedus who might just get his hair fixed if he did happen to fall.

IMG_2080 Sarah Paulson may have tried to be creative by pulling separates out of her closet but it just didn’t jive together. Did you know that her and Amanda Peet are besties? Maybe they shouldn’t get ready together. Or maybe they drank alot of wine and were just like “eff it, this’ll work!”


Congratulations to Eva Longoria on her first baby, as the deep plunge and high center slit let us know that all signs were pointing to her first baby on board. I’m glad that she’s not further along because I’d be worried that they baby would show through that slit.

IMG_2086And then we have Sharon Stone – still as gorgeous as ever, with her cutie pie son as her date. While she is still rocking the hell out of this dress I just kept imagining her telling her son to warn her if he sees her areola pop out. I love how he proudly has his hand around her hips like “Look Ma – you don’t have any panty lines!” And do you think they did their hair together?


The I Am So Cool And You Wanna Hate Me But You Can’t Because I Am Awesome Looks

These looks can only be pulled off with complete confidence with girls that know how to slay all day. Zoe Kravitz – you were boho beautiful in Big Little Lies but you brought out a fierce and feminine look firmly grounded by heels that are like skyscrapers. And those earrings with the red lips are simply gorgeous.


Also on the “only they can pull it off “list is those booties worn by the always awesome Kerry Washington. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kind of shoe on the formal red carpet. And she paired it with this dress that has total downtown cook chick vibes all over it. And that hair!!!! The cut is sexy and simple and the smoky makeup is on point. This does have this “I just pulled this out of my closet look” that only girls who are truly chic can mix up, mash-up and make it work.


Millie Bobby Brown is all of 13 years old but her cool girl status is planted firmly. She was age appropriate in the dress, shoes, hair and jewelry. And the dress has pockets! Always love me some pockets.


Naomi Campbell is all like “You ladies want all black? Let a supermodel show you how it’s done.” Flawless at 47 years old.


My Favorites – From The Front, Back and Side

Oh Penelope how I’ve missed you! You are classic Hollywood glamour with a dose of chic and sexy. I love the soft waves and how they echo the soft wave of the satin bustle in the back. This is a movie star and this is a gown.


Dakota Johnson. I’m gonna be honest in that I really haven’t seen her act. I saw the first 50 Shades of Gray and it made me uncomfortable how the two leading actors looked like they didn’t even like each other. But when it comes to the red carpet she has the sexy girl next door thing all ready to go. I love the casualness of the pony and the bangs, which, let me tell you after having bangs, they are a lot harder to do than they look. The velvet dress looks rich and sophisticated and the drop earrings add just enough without competing with the belt detail. I love that her makeup was kept simple and soft.


The BFF Accessory

Oprah was honored with the Cecil B. Demille Award last night and if I am being totally honest I don’t even know what that is for. But it’s Oprah and she talks in sing-song voices and makes us feel like we can eat carbs, get a hug and have an aha moment. There is something a little smug about her at times but I’d be a total nightmare if people fawned over me the way they do over her. But what I love most is that she brought steady Stedman AND she brought her BFF Gayle. Because we all know if we were going to one of these things and getting a big award we’d all be like can I bring my bestie too??? An award is great and all but it’s not the same without my best friend there to enjoy it with me. Plus in my mind I imagine them discussing what they were going to wear “too much silver O?” (in my mind Gayle calls her O and can’t be bothered with the whole Oprah thing) “which bag do you like best O? black? or silver? And can I still wear my watch? I like wearing my watch ” And O is all like ” Gurl go ask Stedman – I am still stuck on figuring out which eyeglasses to wear with this dress! And I have to make a speech that changes the lives of little girls foreveerrrrrrr!” And did they plan on Oprah’s boobs being so high up and Gayle’s being so low? You know you wanna know too.


*Insider Tip – Fashion is under YOUR control

What you wear is powerful. It can make so many statements without you ever having to say a single word. While fashion is important, it only gets us so far. Whether we use it to set the tone in someone else’s mind or within our own is up to us. Don’t ignore it but don’t take it too seriously. What we wear is one thing and what we say and do quite another. I love that there is a movement to get all this dark stuff out into the light. I don’t care if women wear their pajamas to an awards show if it means it makes more room for more shows like Big Little Lies that showcase complex, complicated and can’t look away type characters. In our fight for the females lets not forget to fight for everyone. My favorite quote of the night, ironically, was not from Oprah, or from a female, but from Sterling K. Brown, the actor who plays Randall Pearson on This Is Us. I’d like to see Hollywood continue to make more roles written for all the many different people who make up our beautiful world.

After thanking his family, his castmates et al, Brown turned his focus to Dan Fogelman, This Is Us creator and showrunner. “Throughout the majority of my career, I’ve benefited from colorblind casting which means, you know what, hey, let’s throw a brother in this role, right? Really cool,” Brown said. “Dan Fogleman, you wrote a role for a black man. That could only be played by a black man. And so what I appreciate so much about this thing is that I’ve been seen for who I am and being appreciated for who I am. And it makes it that much more difficult to dismiss me, or dismiss anybody who looks like me.

Thanks for reading,