You know that feeling you get on Friday, that feeling of this little boost of excitement, that the week is coming to an end and that a weekend is about to begin? It’s followed by Saturday where you wake up and look forward to getting things done in your day and doing something fun at night. Then Sunday comes. And even though there are just as many hours in a Sunday as there are in a Saturday we just can’t seem to enjoy them as much. Why? Because we know each passing hour brings us closer to Monday, which in turn kicks off another week of work, stress and running ragged.
June is the Friday of the calendar year. Kids still have a bit of school left but the nights get longer as the light lasts a bit longer. Windows come open and flowers go out. Just as Fridays have their happy hour, the month of June is usually peppered with graduation parties, end of year parties and the chance to eat outside. We can feel the anticipation of Summer as the temperatures rise. July totally feels like a Saturday because it kicks off with America’s birthday party on the 4th. There are fireworks, picnics, swimming and long days with sunsets holding off until 8:30 or 9 at night. The calendar tells us that Summer Solstice, the official changing of the guard of the seasons if you will is June 21st, also scheduled to be the longest day of sunshine in terms of sunrise to sunset. This should be the real kickoff to summer, right?
Wrong. Why? Because the longest day of the year with regard to daylight follows the laws of physics. What comes up must come down, so after the longest day of the year every sunset after that comes just a bit earlier. It’s slow for sure but it signals the downturn toward Fall, and of course eventually Winter. If you are kid Winter is only fun if there is Snow and Santa. If you are an adult Winter means cold and holiday stress. Sure September is still warm and has beautiful weather, really October can be very gorgeous with the changing leaves and slightly cooler temps. But we are too busy to enjoy it. When September comes around we know it’s just like a Monday. The boss is back and we have to get shit done. Rise and shine and repeat. I feel bad for August the same way I feel bad for Sundays. It’s not their fault that they are right before something we don’t look forward to. No one wants to be the last good thing before something we consider to be a bad thing.
But what if we flip the switch? I’ve been working really hard on being present. Feel free to roll your eyes because I know we get this zen stuff shoved down our throats all the time. Of course we are present, we don’t have the choice to leave our bodies. But it’s the perspective that makes the difference. Lately I keep reading this quote and using it as a mantra of sorts.
I’ve been very open about the fact that I take medication for depression and for anxiety so this quote screams out to me. While the medication absolutely helps me stay more calm and clear, this particular quote helps me actually steer my thoughts in the proper direction. I am one of those people who spends a ton of time rehashing in my mind what I said or did wrong or how I could have or should have done things differently. Said, did, could have or should have are obviously all in the past tense. And yet I am always drifting off worrying about what I need to do, should be doing and could be doing differently. Absolute future tense words with the need to, should be and could be. If I really get back into the drivers seat of my brain and kick out the anxious or depressed bad driver then I realize I am usually very happy in my present moment. Right now I am typing on my computer. I am drinking coffee and the house is quiet as the kids are still asleep and even our crazy dogs are napping. It’s bliss. There are thoughts knocking at the door; “I have to drop off the kids physical forms. I need to move the laundry. I forgot to sign our son up for Prep class at church. ” Each thought than snowballs into it’s own runaway train. For instance, when I think about signing our son up for Prep class I realize the choices are Monday afternoon or Sunday mornings. But he also plays ice hockey so then my mind then goes into what will his practice times be, how many Sundays we may be away for games and tournaments, did I order the right size jersey, does his current equipment fit, how much will new equipment cost and then onto…that’s going to be expensive, well he has a birthday coming up…but is it fair to give him sports equipment for a gift….is that a need versus a want…what will we do for his birthday…when will fit in his birthday……
And maybe it’s just me whose brain takes off like a runaway train whose first stop is Anxioustown followed very closely by Depression City. There could be many of you reading this who think they should fedex me a straight jacket right away. But the point is that whether it’s normal or not I have to find a way to deal. Living in the present helps to put my mind at peace. It’s my mental way to put one foot in front of the other. So come at me August, I’m ready. I’m not going to let the influx of school emails, school supplies at every single store and the looming reality that my kids will need to wake up at 6 instead of 9:30 ruin my August. I’m going to fight against the thoughts from the past of all the things we wanted to do and people we wanted to see but didn’t take up my mental time. It is not going to be easy but I’m going to try my very best, taking one day at a time. Who wants to join me in turning August into the Sunday Funday of the calendar?
Below is a clip from one of my favorite movies because it is so good and so true…
*Insider Tip – Be PRESENT with your wardrobe.
When I work with a new client I spend a lot of time getting to know them, and I ask them to spend some time making sure they know themselves. Where are they at in their life RIGHT NOW? I don’t mean physical location but what are their current circumstances. Are they trying to have another baby? Are they going through menopause? Are they starting a new job? Are they retiring from a job? Are they going through a divorce? Are they going out on dates? Are they moving? Are they downsizing?
All of these questions are relevant because you need to get dressed for the life you have RIGHT NOW.I want them to make good choices when they are buying their clothes. So that means saying no to a purchase if you can’t think of a place or reason to wear it right now. In general, I have found that most people will wear a new item purchased (clothing, accessory, shoes) within one week of buying it. If they don’t it will sit.
Now of course there are exceptions. Maybe you are pregnant and you are buying ahead for a baby bump and picked up a pair of larger size pants on sale. You may fall in love with a dress with no real need but the price is right and the fit is perfect so you put it away knowing it will be there when the situation arises. And if you read my last post then maybe you snatched up some fall and winter pieces from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. And of course this rule does not apply to people who truly shop 2-3 times a year and invest in a wardrobe for that particular season. But in general, people who shop weekly or monthly, will find a way to wear something they just bought and are excited about. This is so true for the impulse shopper, those of you who didn’t plan on going to look for anything but you find yourself killing time by stopping in a store or just because you feel the need for something as a pick-me-up. This is when we feel a need to justify time spent wandering around a store so we buy the best of the choices in that particular store at that particular time. Often this results in bringing home that random item that you either put on the very next day because you are sick of your wardrobe, or it sits in your closet because you don’t really know if it even goes with anything else.
So keep my buy it now, wear it in about a week rule in the back of your mind. The beauty of this is that most stores, even some smaller boutiques, have a refund and/or store credit policy of about one week/7 days from your purchase date.
Thanks for reading!