Did anyone else wonder if the dress code went out as black-tie wedding attire? Or did some guests confuse this with Met Gala? This was not my favorite but I do have some ideas. Full disclosure, this will not be my best work with editing. My clients are always my priority and right now they are all back from summer and full gear into fall, so I will be doing this on the quick!

So here’s the thing…most celebrities have a “back-up” look for their red carpet walk. This could be due to fit, something goes wrong with the dress, or they just change their mind. But sometimes it’s more about the statement they want to make. If you have watched the news, or been on social media lately, you know that there is political divide,unrest, and a sickening amount of shootings. Celebrities are often faulted for being tone deaf to the real world and not knowing how to “read the room.” In other words, the climate in our society feels very sensitive and the last thing any celebrity wants now is any kind of backlash blasted all over social media. So, with this being said, I’m thinking this is the reason for so much black on the red carpet. Like, sooo much black. It felt subdued and morose, and hey, maybe it should. But from a fashion perspective I felt a big old yawn about most of the looks. Even my favorites aren’t the kind of looks that go down in red carpet history. So let’s get to the recap and of course my swaps.

Back in Black

As I mentioned this felt like a black tie (not optional) event. And there was all kinds of black fabric and styles. It felt like Bubba Gump shrimp company with the endless options of black.

First we have your classic, feminine black dresses. They are both beautiful gowns – I adore the oversize bow. But they are very safe choices. Their gorgeous hair and jewels keep everything elegant but they aren’t breaking any styling records here. Both of these could pass for black tie mother of the bride.

Next we have the fitted”body-con” black dresses. Again, just boring. And I don’t’ know how they actually walk in these without taking baby steps. You would have to prop one of those Segway things under me to get me moving.

Black Velvet was also common. This is a tricky fabric for September in California. December or January? It’s perfect. Sweltering in September? No thank you. It all just felt very heavy. But I do love Meghann Fahy’s hair. (I do actually try to make sure I spell everyone’s name correctly, but how interesting is the two “Ns” in Meghann??

Then there is the dramatic black dresses. These are the ones with tons of flounce and frill, in my opinion way too much. I think both of these women are mourning their White Lotus roles.

Are you sick of looking at black dresses? I know I am. So let’s change it up slowly so no one is shocked and add in some metallic embellishments.

So I am obsessed with Elizabeth Banks 60’s inspired hair look but Leslie Bibb stole this category for me with this architectural column dress from Armani (RIP for a man that literally made the air more stylish simply by breathing it in). Her structured bob perfectly balances the shape of the dress. But then there is Quinta. And I love her. But I don’t usually love her on the red carpet. If I was going to change this look I’d fill in that cutout with the dress fabric. Her chest looks uncomfortable smooshed in this dress and it actually draws attention away from her gorgeous face.

Metallica

If you want to play it safe but don’t want to do black then silver or pewter is your best friend. It doesn’t scream “Look at me I look like an Oscar statue gold”,but it elevates any dress to a top level of special occasion.

But here is the caveat. Silver can be a very challenging color to wear. You need that true “winter” coloring to really pull it off. I love the cut of the dress on Michelle but I am not in love with the color. And who knows what is supposed to be happening with those sock bootie things on the right.

See-through silver is another trending look but again it can really wash someone out very quickly, especially blondes. Although Angela Basset’s dress isn’t see through she brings in this pewter silver with amazing texture and Holy Moly look at those arms. She is fierce. And the long and loose locks compliment the structured dress perfectly.

Red, Red Wine

Another classic red carpet go-to color is red. Mariska is stunning in the dark red velvet but again it feels too heavy to me. I love Janelle’s beaded dress and the fit on her is perfect.

Then we have the lipstick red classic red. These looks are all just fine to me. And if you know me then you know that I don’t like to settle for fine. They just feel like a lot of fabric draping.

Pretty in Pink

Going down the color card in intensity we have pink. But pale pink can also be a tricky color. It can easily wash out someone if the hair and makeup don’t work together as a team.

While I love the combo of pink and red (both in clothing and in hair coloring) these shades feel like they are dulling the overall looks of both actresses.

Going to the Chapel

Wedding whites and ruffles. This felt like a 2012 era J.Crew wedding party.

I mean I don’t hate other of these I just feel like they belong at a country club in Virginia for a wedding and not the red carpet for the Emmy’s.

Pennsylvania Polka

Lawrence Welk had a series with singing sisters in dresses that were very Scarlett O’Hara meets Mrs. Roper.

What is happening here? I can almost here Parker Posey’s character from White Lotus saying “Piper, nooooo, not tiered lace and not Aaaahstretch feathers!” Rita Ora just jumped ahead to the 70s and threw on a sexy long nightgown and appears to have jumped in the pool or is having a hot flash (same girl, same).

Pour Some Sugar On Me

If a Disney princess got really drunk and asked monkeys and bridge trolls to make her a dress I imagine this would be the result. And she would definitely be regretting it in the morning.

Diamonds and Pearls and Ribbons and Bows

Why? Just why do this. Malin’s pink accent I could maybe get behind. But Keri Russells’ sad rotted oversize raisins? I don’t understand. It’s like Satan’s scrotum sack. Sorry, that may have went too far.

Wizard Of Oz

If you can tell I am noting the trends by labeling them with favorite songs. I can’t think of the exact name of the song but what immediately comes to mind is the wicked witch riding her bike in the original Wizard of Oz before it transforms to a broom. This is where I say if it was the Met Gala and edgy avant-garde fashion was the theme then I get it and they nailed it. They both look mean and miserable.

On The Good Ship Lollipop

Listen I loved her in White Lotus and I get that her K-pop name is Black Pink but all I see is saltwater taffy. I’m sure this is an east coast Jersey shore thing but we’ve all watched and been mesmerized by this stringy sugar. I just think this look is better suited for the VMA’s or another MTV type event.

Switching Gears

And my brain is losing power to come up with catchy themes so I’m going basic and just handing out awards that I made up.

Best Couple Look

This was a close one for me but I am going with Mary and Ted. Both of these couples are “couples goals” but I love that Ted did the navy and black combo and Mary’s bangs are banging.

Best Couple/Not Really A Couple/Presenters

I mean these two lovely ladies got the memo and understood the assignment. Presenters are not there to steal the show so black and silver are perfect presenter attire. The black with the nude underlay felt fresh, fun and seasonally appropriate and the silver tweed column dress is tailored to perfection.

Best In Show – Runners Up

I love the cut and color on both of their dresses. And their hair looks gorgeous. Just the right amount of jewelry to compliment the dress and not be competing with it.

Lady in Red

Yes, back to the song theme for me. Selena just stunned. The cut of the dress, the train and the updo to compliment the neckline of the dress all came together perfectly.

If I Could Turn Back Time…

I would change some of these looks. My editing skills are pretty hideous but hopefully you will get the idea.

Satin can be very tricky to be photographed in because of all the shine and the drape of the fabric. While I don’t love either of these dresses I would have these two switch. Yes Sydney Sweeney, we know you have amazing boobs, everybody knows you have amazing boobs, but they simply don’t fit into this dress. I think it cheapens the look on her and I would love to see her do something more chic and sophisticated and just more subtle. With her hair and makeup so perfect I think she could have made a statement doing something different with the copper sheath dress.

Britt Lower, aka Helly R, or Helly E, if you watched Severance, I just didn’t love the fit of this dress on her at all. I think with the gamine type of hair style she could have gone the opposite with her dress and really glammed it up. I also think red heads look fabulous in the right shades of red.

Next up I’d switch up Halsey and Leighton. This color is so washed out on Leighton and I think she could pull of the plunge of Halsley’s dress. Plus her hair would look amazing next to the metallic fabric. And I feel like Halsey is always a little dark and brooding so it could be fun to see her something unexpected like this light pink gown.

I warned you, really bad editing on this as I am rushing to finish up.

Next up is these two lovely actresses. I wouldn’t put Michelle’s dress on anyone because it reminds me of a bridal shower where they make you play the game of making a dress out of toilet paper. The color is so blah. I’d like her in Kristen’s dress as I think it would look really good with her wavy bob. I don’t totally hate the dress on Kristen I just don’t like something about the shape of the top on her.

And I’m stealing Catherine Zeta-Jones black sculpted dress and putting it on Kristen because she has amazing upper arms and her half up hair do would compliment this strapless dress.

So I think that’s all from me. I’m always curious to hear your feedback so definitely comment and let me know your favs and your no-ways.

Thanks for reading!

Suzie