While it was quite different from last year’s Blackout On The Red Carpet , I can’t exactly say I was blown away by what is usually one of the most fun nights for fashion on the red carpet during awards season. Maybe my expectations were too high or maybe I’m just getting old and grumpy, but my overall feeling was very “mehh.” But none the less the show (aka annual blog post review) must go on so read on below to get a recap of what made it’s way down the red carpet runway last night. Want to know my overall favorite look? It’s at the very bottom as I saved the best for last.
Seeing Red
No surprise as red is usually a “look at me I want attention” kind of color, so there are usually quite a few women who aren’t afraid to compete with the carpet color.
Who Wore It Best?
My pick is for Chrissy Metz on the left. Her hair and makeup looked elegant and flawless, and I loved the way the cut of the dress opened up her neckline. Also loved the detail on the sleeve. I can’t look at Laura Dern’s dress and not think of those paper decorations that you unfold into a shape and hang from a ceiling for a school Valentine’s Day party .
White Out
White is a classic choice and I give anyone credit who wears it without getting makeup, food, wine or just random dirt on the dress. I’ve only worn a formal white dress once and that was too my wedding and it looked like I went through war by the end of the night.
Who Wore It Best?
I’m going with co-host Sandra Oh because it fit her beautifully and love the way she did her hair to sort of balance out the shoulder detail. I thought I loved Julia Moore’s dress when they were interviewing her from the waist up and then they panned down and I wanted to cry. What happened there? Swap out that weird textured skirt that meets the top at a totally unflattering angle for a skinny pair of black ankle tuxedo pants and this could have been a contender.
Black and White
Another classic combo, usually you can’t go wrong but yet somehow people do. I’m looking at you Amber Heard.
Who Wore It Best?
I wanted to like Rachel’s dress on the left but the top was too close to what the dryer things look like at our local drive through car wash. And Amber, wtf? We will get to you later. Really no one stood a chance at the perfection that was Charlize. Absolutely stunning.
Neutral Territory
I love shimmer and glitter and shine, but this neutral shade can be super tricky to wear because it can draw attention and drown you out all at the same time.
Who Wore It Best?
Emily Blunt’s started out okay at the top but the bottom looked like a doily that would be on grandma’s chair. I love Keri’s dress but I’m not into the 12 year old boy breastplate look. If that came together as a halter neck it would have been perfect. Saoirse’s delicate waves of beads made me wonder how she was able to sit. I got it give it to Felicity for a well cut dress that shimmered in all the right spots.
The Bold and The Beautiful
Go big or go home was the motto for these actresses so they made sure their dresses made a statement with a ton of fabric and color.
Who Wore It Best?
I know there were a lot of fans of Gaga’s gown but I just felt like it was like a Disney Princess dress gone wrong. Just too much and I those sleeves were really, really too much. Catherine’s green was pretty but Gemma’s blue was badass chic. It had a lovely back with a bow detail and her hair and makeup were all on point with the whole look.
Best Hair
I loved all of these loose waves but Emma Stone’s color, cut and subtle wave was stunning.
Worst Hair
This slicked back updo look seemed to be a thing last night and I don’t think it should have. Maybe this was a way to get their faces to look tighter but pulling it back with such severity was not the answer. But Kate Mara’s oddly pulled and cinched pony was just not right.
Tulle Time
You have to wonder if there was a clearance sale at Michael’s Craft Store and they discounted all of the tulle ribbon. Or maybe it was like Project Runway where the challenge was to use as much of it as possible.
Who Wore It Worse?
I can’t. I just don’t like it all. Any of them. But in this case I’m going to go with who wore it worse and Lucy Liu added those hideous gel window clings to hers to seal her fate.
Bone-In Bras
This was a common theme yesterday where we got to see the boning of the corset of the dress. I’m not sure why.
Who Wore It Worse?
The two nude (and tulle) offenders added in odd chokers. But Heidi Klum has been doing this a long, long time and she should know better then to try and put her two golden globes into this awkward mesh drooping casing. I won’t even talk about the flowers because I just can’t.
Also Trending…
Matching your hair color to your dress or your makeup to your dress. Not sure I can agree with either of these….
My Least Favs
I love green, it’s my favorite color. But the green leather? It’s not working. Back to whatever is happening with the Kate Mara alien look. She is beautiful, this look is not. The pushed together boobies with gemstones atop a peach nightie is what I imagine an alien from the 1960s to wear to sleep in. And Amber, what is happening? She is one of the most beautiful women on the planet and yet she decided to resurrect the Jessica McClintock Gunne Sax late 80s prom look, complete with harsh makeup and ringlet hair. Why?
What I’d Change…
So Anne Hathaway went with this sexy leopard look and I just couldn’t buy it on her. It wasn’t a terrible dress but I would have loved to see it on Catherine Zeta Jones who can carry off this kind of sex-appeal. And that gorgeous shade of green that Catherine wore would have looked even better on Anne, especially with her sleek and straight hair.
The bold floral look is tricky and while I didn’t hate it on Molly Simms I think I like her in something a bit more modern and sleek. I also think her skin tone would have carried it off a bit better and her soft curls added a softer touch to the overall look of the silver dress. In contrast I think the bold floral pattern and jewel tone colors would have warmed up Saoirse skin tone a bit and been a nice contrast to her straight bob hair style.
My Favorite Looks
Loved this look as something different for Julia I just would have liked to see a red lip for a slight pop of color to offset the pale nude shade of the top. Gemma’s bold, blue and bow in the back look was so pretty. The matching closed toe shoes were the perfect choice to the unexpected hemline. Allison Janney has consistently nailed her red carpet looks for the past few years now, and this was no exception. The chunky jewels were a welcome change from the usual delicate diamonds. It was hard to pick an overall favorite but it I am going head to toe than it is Charlize. Her skin was glowing. The hair was sleek and chic and she looked sexy and sophisticated. When you are as gorgeous as she is it just goes to show that keeping it simple and classic works every time, ditto for her hair and makeup.
So who were your favorites? Hits? Misses? Remember, the very best part about fashion is that it is subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so there are no rules, only your opinion. And while I love fashion and style the goal is never to take it, or ourselves, too seriously.
Let’s do a little classroom exercise. Raise your hand if you enjoy being your child’s Uber. Raise your hand if you are excited about running to Staples six times in three days this week. Raise your hand if you enjoy screaming at your kids to go bed and then yelling at them to wake up in the morning. I’m assuming no one has raised any hands so we will try a different question. Raise your hand if you would like your outfits picked out for you this week so you can get up and get out the door faster. Okay, that I can help with. I can’t plan ahead for meals or a weekly family dinner menu but I can to that with outfits. True story – this text below is an exchange between me and one of my very good friends.
Whereas this is what happens when I go to events at her house.
So I’m going to stick to what I know and let my friend shop for Octopus. Below are suggestions for those mornings where you just need a starting point. I’m throwing in as many realistic type of photos I can find on Pinterest to help with some visual inspiration, (so no pics of celebrities wearing Chanel and 6 inch heels since we know we aren’t going to go to Staples this week in that). It’s all on this little cheat sheet below so you can save the plan and reference it. Hope this helps and good luck this week!
MONDAY – Back to Basics Black
Keep it simple and go all black. It could be a little black dress, jumpsuit, or pair different textures of black together. Keep jewelry minimal or go for larger statement pieces like a cuff or chunky necklace.
MONDAY – Opposites Attract
Pair a trendier cut or style of denim (frayed, distressed, cropped) and pair back to a classic white top. The more casual the denim the dressier your top can be. If you can’t wear jeans to work try throwing on a jean jacket as a blazer back to a pencil skirt o pants, or over a dress.
WEDNESDAY – Start With The Shoes
Pick a pair you haven’t worn for a while and build your outfit around the shoes. Pull out colors from your closet that will coordinate with the shoes, or choose a cropped pant or flared hem that features the shoes.
THURSDAY- Pick A Pattern
Go with something classic like a striped shirt or mix it up with a floral skirt. Leopard, polka dots, and checks are all easy prints to pair back to solid or to wear as a dress.
FRIDAY- Keep It Simple
Solid black with solid white. It’s a classic combination and you can’t go wrong. Even a black t-shirt with white jeans looks pulled together.
Well, hopefully you made it till Friday night. Time to take off the bra, put on your comfiest oldest t-shirt, sweatpants, and pour yourself a gargantuan glass of wine!
*Insider Tip – Are you a night owl or an early bird?
Personally I am pretty useless when it comes to brain after dark. I could possibly be solar-powered but not sure. But if you are one of those proactive organized types who likes to get as much done at night in order to streamline your morning, then try finding a spot in your closet, or maybe a hook on the back of your door, to designate as your O.O.T.D. (Outfit of the day). Just like when you were a kid, or maybe for your own kids, laying out your outfit the night before can save you so much time and ease that pre-morning coffee sluggish brain into getting dressed. Or, if you are more like me and like a glass of wine before bed, you are better off not picking out your outfit at night because Lord knows what you could come up with. (Poor Kylie, clearly she has new mommy brain because this yellow thing is not a good choice).
I have a love/hate version with technology, specifically with my iPhone. I love how it can connect me to all kinds of information anytime I want. But sometimes I hate the pressure of feeling like I always have to be connected at all times. My brain is starting to function very much like my current iPhone, which is actually no longer very current and definitely needs an upgrade. Honestly between all of the social media I feel like I can’t keep up with responding, both socially and professionally, in an intelligent and meaningful manner.
Storage Almost Full
Much like my phone that is overstuffed with photos, my clothes are becoming overstuffed with, well, me. Too much pizza, too much wine (Damn you summer rose`), and too many cookies. Those are my favorite three things to eat and drink and I am pretty sure none of them are in the food triangle that gets pointed out to our kids at their well check. I know what I need to do. I need to take the time to purge the photos off of my phone (I have 12,092 and 83 videos as I type this right now) and onto Dropbox or iCloud or one of a million other options but, I’m lazy and haven’t taken the time to figure out how to do it without accidentally deleting or sharing everything. And I need to hire someone to follow me around and smack my hand whenever I reach for pizza, cookies or wine.
Low Battery
There are two types of people in this world. There are those that just have a picture of their battery in the form of an icon in the corner of their screen, and then there are those who have the actual percentage rate of battery charge posted right next to the battery icon. Guess which one proves to be more stressful? Those of us who have the number posted can’t fathom how the rest of you can function. It is like the gas tank in your car just showing a level but no actual mileage or numbers. I so wish I could be laid back and not stress when I see that battery going low, but, if I am being totally honest, I start to freak when I see my levels go under 50%. I panic because I have no idea what the rate and speed of depletion is. We have all looked at phones and thought, “Hey I’ve got 57%, I’ll be fine.”, only to look down 30 minutes later and see that awful RED battery with a single digit percentage. Lately my brain feels the same way. My energy drains at an inconsistent rate. Somedays I get up and can get a million things done and feel great. Other days I feel spent after simply getting the kids off to school. The one thing I know for sure is after too many social events my battery plummets and I need to be home, alone, staring out at the trees in my backyard, usually eating cookies and drinking rose`. This has to happen immediately or I will shut down and cease to function at all. My introvert self needs to recharge BEFORE the battery turns red.
Too Many Apps and Too Many Open Apps
When we realize our phones are running low on battery and on storage we immediately check to make sure we close or delete any open apps that we aren’t using. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could do that in our brains? This is where yoga and meditation are really as important as everyone tells us. They allow us to close all the noise of all the thoughts that are going simultaneously inside our heads. “I need to make the kids dentist appointment…when was the last time I was at the dentist…do I need toothpaste…I know I need to pick up that prescription from the pharmacy…when I go to the pharmacy I should grab a birthday card for that party my son is going to…did I rsvp for that party…oh and what can I get for a gift…what am I going to do my kids’ birthdays this year…oops red light I thought that was yellow…SQURRIEL! ” When our brain has too many apps open we are not present and that is when we do things like leave our wallets on top of our cars or bang our toes into doorways. Not good stuff. And sometimes we just have too many apps, as in you don’t even know what they all do and if you need all of them anymore. People who are really helpful tend to say yes to everything and the next thing you know they find themselves involved in an overload of activities and obligations. Sometimes you just have to look at all of them all together and see which ones are sucking up the most data and draining the most battery. Often times we don’t use all those apps or things in our lives.
Unable to Install Update
When our phones start to get old we start to notice that they are not charging as fast or effectively as before. Sometimes it’s the chargers themselves, the cords get too bent, the ports get dirty, and sometimes it’s just because the phone needs and update. Most of these nagging update messages pop up and we generally hit the Later option which tells us that it can do the update overnight as long as it is plugged in to charge. Sounds simple but how many times have you fallen asleep without plugging in your phone? If the phone isn’t charged properly it can’t update. Well neither can I. If I don’t get my downtime or a good nights sleep I can’t seem to prioritize the things I know I need to do to upgrade my life. Exercise, eating right, making time for friends all feel like things that slip further out of my reach if I haven’t been able to properly recharge. And the more I put off the updates I so desperately need, the further and further I get from trying to effectively reach my goals personally and professionally. And how many of us put off the update for fear of it changing what is familiar to us? Sometimes we repeat a negative cycle simply because it takes less work than consciously changing a bad habit. We all fear change but usually it creates growth and something positive. This will require me to swap out my cookies and wine for carrots and seltzer, which I have been putting off even though I know I need to do to feel better. I think there is a bit of a rebel in all of us who hates being told by our phone what to do. I don’t want it to tell me I have to install an update. I want to decide and be in control if I want the update. This is so childish but I am very guilty of not always wanting to do something that is told to me rather than asked of me. Stupid and stubborn but I’m working on it. I think Apple needs to work with reverse psychology and tell me not to the update and then maybe I would…totally messed up.
Phone Is Overheated
Well this one isn’t fun. Who has left the phone out in the sun on a hot day, or maybe even in your car? Of course this happens when you need it the most, not like a clown with a bloody knife is chasing me emergency, but more like I need to use the phone to get directions type of emergency. Well again if you are a female over the age of 40 you probably know what it feels like to feel overheated and it ain’t fun. Sweating into your sheets and adding to your mountain of laundry isn’t a great start to your day. Plus when you are overheated you don’t sleep well which means you can’t recharge your battery which creates to our overall slow overall performance. There is only one cure for this one and that is to give you and your phone a chance to cool down. I also recommend lowering your thermostat to 65 after your husband goes to bed and buying these moisture wicking pjs from Soma.
Insider Tip – Upgrade You and Your Phone
Sometimes you do all that you can do and then it is just time. You need to upgrade your phone. There is a famous quote about the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. I am totally guilty of this. Sometimes we just need a new phone. While we can’t just run to the hospital and ask for a new brain, (which of course we would back up first to make sure we could upload all of our memories and feelings), we can make some changes to our outside. We are often told we need to feel good on the inside so that we can look good on the outside. While I do believe this I also believe that we need to both feel and look good. And sometimes these may happen out-of-order. Sometimes a person has done all they can do internally but things just aren’t changing for them in their mindset. That person may just need an extra push and that extra push may come from changing the outside and working in. Sounds confusing but hear me out. I know clients who have lost weight, been through a divorce, or just generally felt insecure or struggled with self-esteem. They are stuck with a voice inside their head that they are desperate not to hear. When someone compliments you how do you feel? It can be something as small and simple as “I love your earrings!” and the next thing you know that person is standing a little taller, holding their head a little higher. I can’t tell you how good it feels to get to know my clients, to understand them and to see their beauty, and then to able to put them into clothing that reflects what I am able to see on their inside. When we feel pulled together on the outside it helps us to feel pulled together on the inside. When we feel pulled together inside we can act pulled together, resulting in a positive shift. Let me be very clear in that this is not a makeover. That would be like trading in your phone and never copying over any of your previous contacts, apps and information. There is a reason when we get a new phone we first connect it to iTunes and reload our backup info. There is comfort in seeing all that information and apps come back up into this new phone. Now we are in the position to edit what we want to put on the phone, so instead of deleting apps and information we get to choose what we want to add in. This is exactly what happens when I first meet with a client and help them go through their closet. I hesitate to use the phrase “get rid of stuff” when I prefer to think of it as choosing what we want to put back in. What items work for their life RIGHT now, fit them RIGHT now, and make them feel good. When you fill your closet back up with the good stuff then you can put together new outfit combinations out of your favorite things, sometimes the clients hardly have to buy anything new. This is kind of like when you finally check with your phone provider and realize you are actually eligible for a free upgrade or that it will cost you very little. Sometimes a client may need just a few key pieces, like jeans in an updated rise and cut or shoes that in line with what’s currently in style, and then they can mix them back into their wardrobe and upgrade. Upgrading is a good thing. It means that it was already good but that it can get even better, just like us.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post,
Full disclosure, I was going to call this blog post “Why I love my job”, but I feared most people would roll their eyes and hit delete. I know I would if someone else posted that title. So why am I still going to write about something that sounds like its dripping with sticky sweetness? Because I am a true blue pessimist, or, more politely, I’d call myself a realist. I look at the good, the bad, and the what could go wrong.
There is a beautiful quote that I love:
See I tend to live my life in the past, constantly beating myself up about mistakes I’ve made, things I’ve said wrong and what I could have done differently. I play it like a highlight reel in my brain, like reliving that awful final episode of Lost, where I’m left with more questions than answers. And, when not enjoying the sad-masochistic sport of beating myself up, my thoughts wander over to hang out in the worry department of my mind, also known as the future. No, I don’t mean the future as in global warming, although that is stressful and I’m convinced we will all end up like the Disney Wall-E movie, I mean my personal, and usually immediate, future. “What are we going to have for dinner? When am I going to find time for that car appointment? Am I ever going to get that stain out of the rug?” This is where a normal person’s brain would take chicken out of the freezer and decide to grill it for dinner, then call to make the car appointment while getting online and ordering miracle carpet cleaner from Amazon, all within 5 minutes. I KNOW this and I KNOW how to do these things but something in me just gets stuck, and, quite frankly, I don’t claim to be a normal person. So I’m currently trying to focus really, really hard on the present, where if I stay really, really, focused, it’s peaceful happy, and generally a good place to be.
So how do we stay “present”? Stop that thief!
I know so many of us struggle to be “in the moment”, and why I can’t possibly get into all the reasons why, I can give you some small tricks and tips I’ve picked up that are helping me. True confession, my career stresses me out. I love my job but it’s that big word career that I struggle with. I’m supposed to be a badass hashtag girlboss entrepreneur. Sadly, I just had to use spellcheck to find out how to spell entrepreneur. I’m not competitive but I struggle with comparison. I don’t want to compete with others but I can’t help but compare.
Another great quote:
And by human nature when we compare, we contrast, it’s pretty much what we learned at an early age at school. Compare and contrast these two sentences/pictures/objects, see what makes them different. Different IS good, but, we are conditioned to think one version is better than the other. Again, I’m going to blame this on school, we look at choices or options and we determine which one is good, better and best. That’s just not real life. Stop that thought process that is robbing you of your own joyfulness. Focus on youand your accomplishments. Compare those to how far you’ve been and I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Talk to inner parent and inner child – just not out loud in front of people, preferably.
I’m throwing out yet another quote, this one from the movie that may have been overlooked by the Academy, but in my family it’s a masterpiece.
From Talladega Nights: The Ballard of Ricky Bobby
Poor Ricky lives his entire life based on advice his own father rambled out one day. But eventually his father even admits that it was stupid advice.
It’s Ricky Bobby’s dad who gives out this poor advice and it’s years later that he explains how nonsensical that same advice sounds. We strive to teach our children to do their best, and, to not compare themselves to what other people are doing. Does winning feel good? Hell, yeah. No one loses a game and says they feel great. You don’t bomb a presentation at work and think, “Wow, that felt amazing!” But what if we started treating ourselves like children again? While I wish that meant more snacks and afternoon naps, what I really mean is a little dose of kindness. I’m really hard on myself and pretty accepting of others. When it comes to my own attitude I don’t tend to pull it all together, put my big girl panties on, and go into battle. I’m more of a grab my blankie and go back to bed kinda chick, who then lies there and beats myself up for being that kind of chick. Good times. What if, bear with me now, you could take the rational adult out of your body, and have it have a chat with the frustrated, upset, confused child that is still in there? Even if you are not a parent I know you know how to speak and give advice with compassion. What would you tell this child version of yourself? I’m pretty sure it’s not “you suck”. Just try this for five minutes and give yourself some words of kindness, encouragement and reassurance. Then go in your room, slam the door, and take a timeout if you still get mad at your own inner parent for trying to help yourself.
Mind over matter.
Kids’ activities and sports are brutal these days. I recently had the very honest conversation with my son that when he is deciding to participate in an activity I want him to ask himself two questions.
Are you going to have any fun? Are you going to learn anything?
Hopefully he’s learning something AND having fun at whatever he’s choosing to do as an optional activity. I say optional because school is not optional and while I know he is learning many things, most of the time he is telling me how it’s not very fun. There’s also activities that we find ourselves in and realize that we aren’t having fun and we aren’t learning anything. We can’t control other people so why would we depend on them to make us have fun and to make us learn something. With the right mindset we can CHOOSE to have fun, and, we can CHOOSE to learn something, even in negative and/or boring situations. Mind over matter is HUGE. It’s so simple and yet so complicated because it involves actively listening to and consciously changing the dialogue in our minds. That dialogue can quickly grow into a chaotic chatter like listening to the ladies of The View talking over each other and arguing about who knows what. So turn the volume down and change the channel. Put on music you love. Take control by listening to your thoughts and sending the bad ones off to walk the plank.
Share your strengths…and your weaknesses.
A few years ago my friend and her family moved into a new neighborhood. The homes were pretty much picture perfect and the other moms looked the part as well. One of them came over to introduce themselves and drop off homemade muffins. Before you think this gets too Wisteria Lane-like, my friend shared with me the best part. Those muffins were had Halloween themed wrappers on the bottom, yet it was April. This is the moment my friend knew she’d become good friends with this neighbor because the kind gesture and cooking skills came with the big ‘ol reality check that says, yeah this is all the wrappers I had and I am good with that. Nobody likes perfection. It’s annoying and it’s not relatable. If she came over with homemade muffins, in a handmade basket with wrappers on the muffins that said welcome I think things would have turned out very differently. So why not share our gifts and strengths, put them out there and be proud of them. Just don’t forget to share the other real parts of your life, because that’s where we all can relate to each other. And when we relate to each other we understand each other. We forgive, we accept, we open up and we help each other. It’s a safe place, a happy place.
You’ve got to believe to receive.
This is the same thing I tell my kids every Christmas, mostly because I still love the fantasy and magic of the holiday, but boy have I been learning lately how very true it is. See I had this post finished yesterday morning and ready to post last night but yesterday afternoon I had a bit of a shakeup. I went out yesterday evening to go to the wine store and the grocery store. On the way to those two stores I decided to stop at on outdoor flower market. It’s finally feeling warm and sunny and I wanted something pretty by our door. I left the flower place and pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store and was stopped by a man in his car who politely asked if I had a pink wallet. Shit. He said he saw what looked like a pink wallet blow off the top of my car just outside of the flower place and he followed me her to tell me. I thanked him profusely and jumped into my car to go back to where I was. I was walking up and down the road and encountered another man who was working nearby and said he saw a car stop and grab what looked like a wallet off the side of the road. Double Shit. All my credit cards, drivers license, and contact info were in that wallet. This was either a good thing because the person would have no problem contacting me, or, a really horrible thing, as in identity theft. The pessimist in me quickly canceled everything and reported everything and went home and cried. Like really hard cried. I was so mad at myself. My mind quickly started the blame game and snowballed all the things I felt like I had done wrong. I was not being present, I was not paying attention and I was sick of always feeling like I am messing up. And then I threw myself in front of that runaway train in my head. Stop. Enough.
One of my best friends recently shared a really fabulous mantraof hers with me:
Show up and shut up.
It was time to do something and shut up all that crap in my brain. I posted on our local community Facebook page that if anyone saw the wallet, even if it was empty, that I’d love to have it back. I received so many relatable, funny, hopeful, kind and caring replies. A friend of mine wrote that one time her mom left their cat on top of their car. Yes, she was serious, and yes, the cat did indeed have nine lives because it survived until someone notified her mother to pull over. Many more women let me know all the places they have left and lost things so I didn’t feel like it was just me. I went to bed feeling oddly at peace. There was nothing I could do but send out good vibes into the universe and hope for the best. I was going to will that wallet back to me, somehow, someway. I also saw it as a sign as heavy as a rock being dropped on my head. I didn’t need that wine from the store last night as I probably would have drank too much of it and woke up tired and bloated. I needed to get rid of some of those credit cards that I wasn’t using and didn’t want to use. I needed to slow down.
This morning I woke up and hit the restart button. I had some cash in my other bag and I set out to Dunkin Donuts for my liquid motivation. I said another quick prayer to the universe and set a positive mindset. My father-in-law always says “keep the faith” and since our daughter is named Faith I think of this so very often. Two minutes later my cell phone rang with an unknown number. A man asked for me by and said he found my wallet in the middle of the road this morning, right where I had lost it yesterday. He was in the parking lot across from the Dunkin Donuts that I was headed to right then. I drove over and thanked the man profusely and then I cried in my car. I was so happy. Everything was in my wallet, even my Dunkin Donuts gift card. Today will be a good day.
*Insider Tip – Dress the part, play the part.
We’ve all heard the advice that sometimes you have to “Fake it till you make it”. Your clothes can help with that. Ever hear the term “Power Suit”? Or how about to “dress for the job you want, not the one you have”? There is truth to all of those pieces of advice, and yes, I don’t advise dressing like Batman at your current job unless you are Robin and work in the bat cave. What this really means is, sometimes you have to shop a bit outside of your comfort zone, stocking your closet with items that you know you can put on and FEEL differently when you are wearing them. I want to stress the emphasis on only going a bit outside of your comfort zone. Buying a cone-shaped bra will not make you feel as sexy as Madonna if your idea of wearing something revealing is open-toed shoes. Imagine your personal style to be a box. Now draw a circle around that box. When people recommend to go outside your box, a.k.a. your comfort zone, they don’t mean to go onto another planet.
Just outside that box, but still inside the circle is where you want to be. This way you stay true to who you are without compromising your character.
There is this really cool part of my job where I get to play fairy godmother to a Cinderella. As we all know, in the fairytale, Cinderella didn’t go all Bravo Real Housewives and change who she is when she put on that dress. She was always the same girl who was mopping the floors and she was always beautiful. The Fairy godmother didn’t make her beautiful, she simply placed her into a dress that made her feel beautiful. If Cinderella put that dress on and looked down, and slumped over and never made eye contact then she probably wouldn’t have danced with the Prince. It’s not like the Prince thought, wow, is she wearing a dress from the new Chanel Spring collection? He simply noticed her, as she was radiating because she felt beautiful. When we feel beautiful outside we start to feel beautiful inside. A dress can’t transform an entire person, but sometimes it’s the kickstart we need to start to feel better. A new haircut, a little makeup, it all helps us see to see ourselves a little differently when we look in the mirror, and, ultimately, think a little differently as well. So what can a woman who feels and looks baeutiful do? Anything she wants.
This is what I love about my job. I get to bring out the beauty that I see in my clients. But in order for me to see it I have to see them, as in really, truly see them for who they are, flaws, strengths and weaknesses. Making someone feel better about themselves? I’m not gonna lie – it’s what drives me, it’s what feeds my ego, it’s what motivates me to take this job and turn it into a career. I’m so damn lucky and so very grateful to have found something that I know I can do well. I don’t say that with conceit but with confidence. I build relationships with my clients and they mean everything to me. I mess up emails, I have missed deadlines and I’m disorganized as hell, but I will always work my hardest to make others see all the good that I can see in them. Finding clothes and a style that showcases the woman inside the dress, not just the dress. When I find that sweet spot of the outfit that truly fits the client, inside and out, that’s the joy. It’s the satisfaction of looking through all of the pieces in the puzzle box and doing the work to put the right two pieces together.
Just like a puzzle, there are more than just two pieces needed to put together the whole picture. I can’t stress enough how grateful I am for all of the other pieces in my life. From an efficient and talented tailor, to a well staffed salon with talented stylists, to a beautifully curated boutique staffed with helpful and kind sales associates, I need all of these people and places in my life to help me complete the picture with my clients. Much like Cinderella, it takes a village (birds, mice and a very large pumpkin) to carry out the whole scenario.
Stop comparing yourself to others, talk up your inner child, parctice mind over matter, share your strengths and weaknesses and believe to receive all the good you deserve. Find your people and hold on tight. Share your gifts and believe in the good. Ask questions and ask for help. Believe in your own beauty and share it, rock it and scream it. Go change the world.
Just outside that box, but still inside the circle is where you want to be. This way you stay true to who you are without compromising your character.
