Get Your Sh*t Together

It’s that time of year folks. The birds start to chirp earlier,  the sun tries to warm us up and our schedules start to go in fast forward. I used to think it was just me who started to lose it this time of year but a quick sampling of my friends and family proves I’m not alone.  One friend who I consider one of those people who always has her act together (successful career, cute kids and family, great style) recently drove away with the gas pump still attached to her car. Twice. In the past 6 months. My sister was at my house yesterday for dinner and to have the kids play. We had a nice time while we vented to each other about how overwhelming our lives felt recently. When it was time to go she gathered her kids and was on her way. A little while later my husband came home. “What’s she doing here?” he said. “Who?” I said. He pointed at my sister’s beloved dog who she had brought over to run around in our  yard. Hmmm…I thought. I guess she needs that. I should call her. Despite the fact that I even I didn’t notice we had gained a pet  it could have been worse. It could have been one of her children she left behind.

Get Your Shit Together,

I often waste time wondering what exactly I am doing wrong.  A friend of mine recently had baby number 6. And you know what? She handles life like a boss. I know inside she probably feels she is failing at something. But here is her son’s school project.

image (7)
image via suziegaffney.com

And here is my son’s.

image
image via suziegaffney.com

I did it when he was in the shower because I couldn’t bear to fight through the process with him. Yes we have had 2 weeks to do it and yes of course I am just getting to it tonight, after his baseball game. Oh and by the way it’s supposed to be a polar bear habitat. Can’t you tell?? Just look closely at the polar bear stickers I used. That should help.

Down With the Science Fair
image via Pinterest

I keep a small clutch inside my daily tote so I can pull it out when I am running errands during the day. For this reason I like to keep my smaller clutches easily visible. If I can’t see it I won’t use it. If I’m not using it then it is a complete waste of money. Being that I am visual in nature and I need to see things I also need to see them in an orderly fashion. It sounds a little OCD but it makes me feel better. But here’s the thing, most clutches don’t stand on their own. It’s like trying to prop up dead Bernie on Weekend at Bernie’s. They just keep falling down.  Some people may think I sound like a total princess to get annoyed by clutches not standing up. Don’t be mistaken. I am aware this is a minor problem.  However, when there are bigger issues of stress going on in my life I strive to keep order of what I can control of  the little things that I can control.

Weekend at Bernie's II funny then dog shit
Did anyone realize they made a number 2?? Wasn’t he like really, really, dead by then? Like smelly dead?? Ewwww.

When they all fall down the really stubborn  part of my brain fights this. I will keep trying to prop up the offending clutch that just won’t sit  up, getting more and more pissed off at a poor handbag. This is when the little things that are supposed to bring me order and calm actually make me want to go outside and beat the offending clutch. Kind of like the scene in the movie Office Space, played out along to “Damn it feel good to be a gangsta” by the Geto Boys. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsBB93IqJkE   The solution? It’s found in the kitchen supply isle of any home store. For just under $8.00 I lid rack will help me conquer the  battle of the limp clutch.

THIS

image (6)
image via suziegaffney.com

 

PLUS THIS

image (5)
image via suziegaffney.com

 

 EQUALS THIS

image (4)
image via suziegaffney.com

 

Which in turn leads to me feeling like this:

 

an iconic spa treatment: cucumber-on-eyes provide hydration to your eyes as well as relaxation!
image via Pinterest

It’s money well spent.

 *Insider Tip – Sometimes it is okay to sweat the small stuff.

Take a good look at your closet and decide what drives you the most nuts. Do you share a closet with your husband? Does he have a lot of dry cleaning? I know many a marriages that have been saved at the simple act of placing a small trashcan inside the closet to corral the trash that accompanies a freshly dry cleaned item.  Finding little pins, papers, tags and plastic bags on the floor of your closet can piss off the perkiest of a morning person.  You may never get your husband to detach said trash in an orderly fashion, and transport it out of the closet trashcan. In fact, you may have better luck potty training your dog. So stop complaining about the small things that drive you nuts and find a simple solution. Are you strangling in scarves? This little $10 beauty may just be a life saver.

College Closet Scarf Hanger Dorm Room Products Fun Items College Closet Organization Dorms
from Dormco.com

I am also bin obsessed. Bins come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Your sh*t just looks good when it is hidden inside a pretty bin.

Circo™ Linen Striped Tote - Set of 2 - Gray Birch
Circo™ Linen Striped Tote from Target

 *Insider Tip – Make it convenient.

I used to have the same battle with my son every morning before school. He would get himself dressed, brush his teeth and come downstairs for breakfast. He would be ready to go out to the bus stop as soon as he put on his socks and shoes. But he never brought his socks downstairs. For some reason he just could not complete that step when he was getting dressed. Sending him back upstairs for his socks was like moving a mountain. You think I was asking him to climb up the stairs of the Washington Monument they way he whined and complained. It finally dawned on me to take his socks out of sock drawer and put them in a bin in our downstairs coat closet, right near his shoes. When I am doing laundry all the socks just get tossed into the bin rather than taking an unnecessary trip upstairs. Plus now I have more drawer space in his dresser for his 6,000 t-shirts he can’t bear to part with. I choose to pick my battles one at a time.   So what are waiting for? Listen to Annie as she motivates Carol in one of the scenes from Bridesmaids

. Get your shit together Carol!! There are not words for how much I love this movie. -Bridesmaids-

Thanks for reading!

Suzie

 

P.S. Need a Laugh?

Want more examples of how parents slack off at the end of the school year? Make sure to check out Buzz Feed’s

Parents At The Beginning Of The School Year Vs. The End .

 

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