Similar to Eagles football fans, I had mixed expectations for the comeback of The Golden Globes. After viewing the “new and improved” Golden Globes award show (goodbye Hollywood Foreign Press and hello Golden Globes Journalists), the show fell flat on its face, with host Jo Koy doing a lot of the falling. I used to love this award show because it has stars from both movies and television, and it has lots of champagne at the tables, making for lots of starstruck moments when stars themselves run into their favorite actors from their favorite shows. This year they moved over to CBS and CBS was busy hosting Sunday night football so guess what got cut? The red carpet. Yeah, it was live streamed but it’s not the same at all. God I miss Joan Rivers and even Ryan Seacrest doing his interviews. Starting with a cold opening left the viewers feeling flat and the red carpet just wasn’t the same. I’m just coming out of the haze of a week long flu and this was not quite worth me staying awake to watch the whole 3 damn hours. Plus, is there anything more cringey than watching people shoved in the back who unexpectedly win try and side shuffle their way through all the more “important” people to get to the stage? Ughhh, so uncomfortable.

We are post pandemic, post writers strike and back into going to the movies and getting somewhat dressed again. So what exactly happened to fashion and style last night? Were the stylists also like Jo Koy and only given 3 weeks notice to prepare and dress their clients? There wasn’t one dress that took my breath away and gave us one of those iconic moments. My favorite looks were classic and elegant but dare I say a little boring. Well the bar has been set low for the Oscars, here’s hoping the stylists and the Eagles can both pull off some wins.

Back in Black

Well, it’s a safe choice. And the velvet fabric was a nice touch on Angela Bassett. Jennifer Aniston was doing her best black but I just wished there was a touch of glam to the jewelry somewhere.

Best Ode To Karl

Karl Lagerfeld would have loved both these looks – worn by one of the youngest and one of the most seasoned actresses of the night. By the way, Arianna on the left was the daughter in the Barbie movie and is only 16 years old. I can not wait to see if she continues to bring it on the carpet because this look is perfect.

Racey Lacey

These looks give me wedding night vibes, both naughty and nice. I don’t like any of them, even though I’d jump off a bridge to save anyone from Ted Lasso. And the white look on the right would make a really cute one piece swimsuit if we cut off the skirt.

Sheer Confusion

What is happening here? I’m already way over the sequin underwear as an outfit look, and Kate Beckinsale adding oodles of taffeta over top does not help. And the other one reminds me of trying to put cotton candy onto the stick on the machine.

Why?

Why? Why would you wear this? I don’t understand any of them. Natasha, you looked better in the sequin skirt you wear in the Old Navy commercials. Your hair and makeup look ah-mah-zing so why put Star Trek type points on your dress? Can you hang stuff on it? Maybe a purse? The black dress in the middle feels like the goth sister of Jessica McClintock circa 1992 created it. Fantasia’s stylist clearly couldn’t decide between 3 dresses so she went with all 3, crammed together.

My Favs

I like a good train, provided it’s not ridiculous and looks like a cloud of dust like Linus from Charlie Brown. These two lovely ladies nailed the fit and the style. And I love the hair and makeup with the entire look. Simple, chic and stunning.

My Fav Guys

I normally don’t pay too much attention to the guys but there was a lot of color and a lot of daring style going on last night, maybe even more so than the ladies. Matt Bomer is happily married to his husband but he was my number one pick for The Mr. Christian Grey in the movie. Yeah I get that his shirt could be tucked a little better but I’m still busy staring at his face. He’s swanky and swoon worthy. And Lenny Kravitz is an elegant rock star – note the side cut-out in the tux. I can’t think of anyone else who could pull this off.

Love Your Hair Stylist

You can have the greatest dress on in the world but if the hair and makeup aren’t working then the whole look ain’t gonna work. Severe stark slicked back updos were everywhere last night and I was over it. And I get it, it’s January, we are all pale, but a little blush and lipstick never hurt a girl either. Let’s see if we can fix up these 2 ladies just a bit.

Just a bit softer with a side part shows off how beautiful red looks on a red head.

Natalie Portman is one of the most gorgeous women on this planet. I actually kind of like that the dress looks like a light brite enchanted fairy forest. But I think letting her hair down would again soften the whole look just a touch.

And sometimes a simple and beautiful dress like this one above, especially if it has a looser, softer look, can look so much better when paired with an elegant up-do.

Just Say No To Tulle

Stars love to throw extra tulle fabric on their dresses. Sometimes it’s just “tulle” much (bad mom joke). I would have loved to see the intricate gold pattern on Emily’s dress continued down to her feet.

Let’s Switch

This is my favorite game. Sometimes we shouldn’t blame the dress, sometimes the dress just didn’t find the right person.

Tay-tay. Of course Taylor looked great, but the green threw me. I almost half expected red for her Travis Kelce “era.” Let’s just mix it up first with Emma Stone who I think looked a tad washed out in her dress and I think the green and her hair would have been a winning combo.

In fact, I think Taylor could have borrowed any of these dressed below from other attendees and it would have been a bit better than the green on her.

I usually love Reese’s style but last night I felt she looked a bit washed out with a nude lip. I would have liked to see her lean into the cool toned vibe and swap dresses out with America, who I would have liked to have seen in the slight nod to Barbie with Reese’s bow.

So these two looks were okay, I just again felt like the coloring was wrong for each actress.

And finally, my last recommendation on a fix. Oh Selena, this made me so sad. You are so gorgeous and don’t need anything complicated. This dress is as complicated and messy as your entire relationship with Justin Bieber. Let’s steal this pretty pink column number that I saw on the carpet on someone else last night and let’s burn your dress.

So what did you think? I missed some obvious reviews like Margot Robbie in pink, Helen Mirren in lots of lilac, and Florence Pugh in a gorgeous red dress. Did you watch the show? Did you feel like they crammed people into a church basement and forced strange scripted quips onto these actors? I’d love to hear your feedback… and Let’s Go Birds!

Thanks for reading!

suzie gaffney