Somebody got the memo. In my last blog post I lamented about the lack of any drama or style with regard to the dresses and to the hair and makeup. This time, for the Emmys red carpet, the celebrities said “Bring it” , and their stylists said:

Check Out The Side Of My Boob

But like any good red carpet review I have to include the ones that completely brought the wrong to the red carpet (I’m talking to you Suki Waterhouse). To my surprise, many fashion sites and publications praised her bold and stylish choice for maternity wear. Suki herself said in her red carpet interview that Valentino had been working on the dress for months and had to piece it together to accommodate her baby bump. I’m confused. Did they run out of fabric? It feels like an apron. I get that some ladies want to show off their bumps but this was also a lot of boob with the bump. It just didn’t look finished to me and the bow at the front looks strange. The whole situation made me uncomfortable.

Speaking of uncomfortable, I would be terrified to sit next to Aubrey Plaza. At one point the camera panned to her hugging someone and I was convinced they were going to be stabbed by her oversized crochet needle. I’m so clumsy I most certainly would have injured myself if I wore this. It feels like a big post-it note, or maybe it was meant to be a ransom note asking for the rest of the fabric to go around the side of the dress. Since when is side boob such a thing? However her hair and makeup are gorgeous.

Hey! I Can See Your Bra!

So no side boobs on these looks below but since when does wearing your bra under a see through top look like a good idea? Kathyrn Hahn’s bra doesn’t even look like it fits right. This is the bra you wear for comfort at home but you hope no one ever actually sees.

I love Ellen Pompeo. I love the skirt. I don’t understand the collar. It reminds me of when people include their dog in their wedding ceremony and give it a cute little mini tux collar for its walk down the aisle. At least her bra fits.

In my notes next to this dress I just wrote WTF. Again, where is the rest of the fabric. It’s like she is in her lingerie and then threw on some strips of fabric that then started to sprout scary looking flowers. There is just a lot going on here for very little clothing.

Almost There

These next few are all worn by actresses I adore, but I feel like the concept started out okay and then things just took a wrong turn.

Just imagine how beautiful this dress would be without that billowing cloud of smoke attached to the back. Everything else in the front is perfection. I’m swooning over the shoes.

Look at Hannah’s shoulders. I’d love to know her workout routine but I’m too lazy to actually follow it. This dress fits her beautifully but I would love to see it in a different shade. I just can’t get past the seafoam.

When watching this dress on television, it really didn’t look as neon as it has been showing up in photos. I am obsessed with her hair and makeup and stunning emerald and diamond statement earrings. I’m just thinking if we could tone down the neon of the dress just a bit it would make for an easier view on the eyes.

I am on the fence on this dress on Selena. I love that it is something a little different. I think what is throwing me off if the extreme dark eyes and lips. I think if it was softened a bit I’d like it better. It’s a bit of a case where the dress is overpowering her.

Excuse Me, Can She Have Your Dress?

Local Philly Native Quinta Brunson has been sweeping up the awards this season. And she is tiny, like 4’11” tiny, which is not always easy to find a good fit. I see where she was going with the throwback 1950s style dress but I can’t get over using the crushed satin. Crushed satin is supposed to be wrinkled but I think it just looks sloppy. Also, I keep forgetting that she is only 34 years old. In the future, I think it would be fun to see her in something a little edgier, like this leather Louis Vuitton dress. Her costar, Tyler James Williams was wearing a full leather suit. If she wore that leather dress and he wore his suit it may have looked a bit like they were into S & M if they posed together in any photos that night, putting a whole different spin on Abbott Elementary’s family friendly sitcom.

Let’s Swap

Again, for me, it’s so much about coloring. I don’t really love Calista’s dress to start with, but I feel like Jenna Ortega has a bit of that quirky Anthropologie type vibe to pull it off better. Jenna’s dress was beautiful, but totally washed her out, and I think it would have been better suited on Calista’s coloring. Please excuse the bad editing job, I am a little behind in getting this out so we are just going to go with it.

I’ll Have A Pinot Noir

Merlot, pinot and cabernet all showed up as a trend on the red carpet. I appreciate the 90s Versace throwback look on Rachel Brosnahan, mostly because it’s such a departure from her Mrs. Maisel character’s vibe. These shades feel perfect for January.

Baby Got Back

This vintage 1990 Balmain dress was a pro move. The fit, color and detail is absolutely stunning. Everything works. I would just walk around backwards all night. Plus, matching up the right kind of earrings to compliment an already bejeweled dress is not easy, but they nailed it.

Are You RED-Y For It?

Yes, I am. I am so here for these absolutely stunning dresses in red on the red carpet.

Sarah Snook of Succession (say that 5 times real fast) is wearing a true ball gown and I love it. Like the young kids say, the jewels are dripping. Her hair is classic and chic and doesn’t overpower or compete with the dress. It’s a great look all around.

This is how to do a fitted dress and keep everything chic and classic. The hair is perfectly styled. I wouldn’t care if I won anything at all if I was this actress because I would just walk around and be like “Yeah, I’m hot”.

This is the dress that made me sit up and and maybe scream a little. Hair, jewelry, fit, color, clutch are all working hard but appear effortless. This is true glamour and brings me back to the days when we had Gantos in the local mall for prom dresses.

Thank You

Joan Collins is 90. Ninety! This is Hollywood glamour from back in the day and she knows how to work it. Just stunning. I’m calling for a Dynasty reboot with Dame Joan reprising her Alexis Carrington role.

I’ll Have What She’s Wearing

It must be challenging to know what to wear when it is your date that is the one who is nominated. You don’t want to overdo it and go too big but also this is your chance to look good too. This two nailed it and I would wear either of these dresses anywhere I could, possibly even the grocery store tonight to stock before our predicted snowfall. However, with my luck, that stupid robot Marty at the Giant would probably run into me and ruin the dress and then I’d have to finally put him down for good. Marty and I are not on good terms and my daughter had to physically restrain me the other day from giving him a little shove with my cart. Yes, I need therapy for my grocery store anger issues.

So what did you think? Did you watch the show? I thought Anthony Anderson, and his momma, did a great job. I would have liked to see a cleaner looking “step and repeat”, that background that reminds you that Fox is hosting the show and that this is the Emmys. I get it, we know, but it’s a very busy background to pose in front of . The actual show felt like it moved at a good pace and I liked the throwback reunion of some of our favorite shows. However when Charlie Puth busted out a slow and sad version of the Friends theme song, coupled with Matthew Perry’s as the final image, I felt both my eyes well up. I didn’t realize that song could be redone sad and slow and I am still having a hard time watching the show when Chandler appears. I did love that there was a televised red carpet but some of the interviews can be a bit cringey. Up next will be the Grammys, followed by the SAG awards, and then the Oscars in March. Thanks for hanging out with me and reading the recaps!

suzie gaffney